Jokes
"Johnny"
Johnny had gotten left behind because he never studied and always goofed off, so he was in the same class with his little borther, Joey. One day, the teacher taught a lesson about different kinds of meat. First she had Tommy come up to the front of the class and she handed him a little piece of beef on a toothpick. "What's that, Tommy?" she asked. "It's beef," answered Tommy, and the teacher gave him the beef to eat. Then she called on Mary. She gave Mary a piece of chicken and asked her, "What's that, Mary?" "It's chicken, teacher," answered Mary and the teacher gave her the chicken to eat. Next, the teacher called on Johnny's brother Joey. She handed him a piece of venison, and asked, "What's that, Joey?" Joey looked at it and said, "I don't know, teacher." The teacher said, "I'll give you a hint. What does your father call your mother when he comes home in the evening?" And Johnny called out from the back of the room, "Don't eat it! It's asshole!"
The teacher asked Johnny to spell "cat." "C - A - T, teacher," said Johnny. "Very good, Johnny," she replied. "Very good hell," said Johnny, "It's perfect!"
The teacher asked the class to tell about their summer vacations. Johnny said, "I was riding my bike one day when this dog ran out in front of me--and I hit him right in the ass!" "Rectum, Johnny!" cried the teacher. "Wrecked 'um?" said Johnny, "damn near killed 'um!"
Johnny, to another kid: "You're stupid!" Teacher: "Johnny! That's a terrible thing to say! Say you're sorry!" Johnny: "I'm sorry you're stupid."